Tuesday, December 4, 2012

How I Got Here.

As promised,  here is the first of two re-posts from my previous blog. This one explains how I came to the decision to become a Choice Mom.

Okay. Back story time.

I will try to keep this as short as possible seeing as how this is a blog and not a novel. Plus I’m already starting to write a novel, but that’s another story.

As said before, I am a 26.  I’ve been in the work force since I was 15 years old. Right out of high school I started working full-time and have done so ever since.  I’ve dated on and off and had a couple of serious relationships, but nothing ever worked out.  I was somewhat close to marriage with one of them, but the closer we got the more anxious HE got so that didn’t end well.  After him, I decided to do the ever-dreaded act of “lowering my standards.”  I realized that perhaps I was asking too much of a man and should give more guys a chance. And I did. And it sucked.  I don’t care what anyone says, I cannot settle. I just can’t.  (Nor do I recommend that ANYONE settle. It’s not worth it.)

So after this last dating spree, I started to realize that more than a mate, I really wanted a baby.  I’ve always been a little “baby crazy” so to speak.  However, I’ve always wanted to have my children at a younger age. I never wanted to be an “old mom” – meaning I didn’t want to be having my first child after 30. No offense to anyone who had their first child after 30 and the closer I get to 30 the more I realize it is not old.  However, I’ve heard the odds of getting pregnant drop drastically after 35. I know to some I am “still so young.” I’ve heard that phrase so many times it makes me want to puke.  However, the fact that I started seeing men as a means to a baby and not as a companion was a sign to me that what I was REALLY wanting was a baby, not a boyfriend/fianc√©/husband.

Continuing on ….a few years back I started researching artificial insemination. Mainly just basic research online – how it worked, who was a candidate etc., but recently I began doing more extensive research. I read (and am still reading) articles, blogs, statistics and books – anything I could get my hands on about the subject. I ran it by a few friends and family members to get their reactions. The majority of the reactions were positive. Several of them were really worried about my ability to take on such a task (financially, emotionally, etc) but after talking it over with them and laying out my plan, most of them came around.  (Some are still a little leery, but that’s to be expected) Having done that, I put together a budget and a timeline. And finally, I made the big choice.  I’m going for it!

And there you have it. Hard to believe I wrote that almost 8 months ago. Yet here I sit with Peanut nicely snuggled in today. I was curious to see if my emotions towards this choice would change as time went on, but they haven't.  Well, actually they have, but they've only grown stronger. The further into this pregnancy I get the more I am certain that I made the right choice. 


  1. Totally with you - settling is not an option.

    And I seriously love that quote!

  2. Hi, I'm following you over from Chron.com. I am oddly interested in your journey even though our philosophies are polar opposites. I was the chick that never wanted to focus on having a baby/husband and figured it would just happen whenever it happened. Now I'm 31, fell in love this year with a man who is in no rush to be married yet also realizes I won't have a kid until I am married, yet we talk about our future kids easily. I'm oddly relaxed about this yet also have that "Crap, 35 isn't that far away" thought rolling through my head.

    I think there is no right or wrong answer with any of this, it's what makes life awesome to experience. Anyway, I look forward to hearing the tales of your peanut!

    1. Paige,

      I wish I were programmed like you! I don't know what caused me to be this way. The only thing I can come up with is that it was all I really knew. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and from a young age (say 4), all I remember wanting was a baby. Of course I was too little to understand a husband at that time. But once I got older, I watched people get married at young ages and I just naturally assumed that's the path that my life would take. Boy, was I wrong!

  3. That's really funny, my mom was a stay at home mom but had me when she was in her 30's, so I've always assumed that's why I'm so calm about the no dude/kid thing.