Wednesday, January 9, 2013

My Other Half........Is Me.

It's a sweet sentiment; you're my other half.  And while some might say I'm being too logical with it (and they might be correct in a sense) I still feel the need to say how I feel about that concept.

When my parents were going through their divorce almost 11 years ago, I began going to counseling. It's been a long time and I honestly don't remember much that she said to me, but one thing in particular does stick out in my mind. She drew a picture of half of a circle and then another half of a circle. She explained that while in theory two halves made a whole, but when it came to people a half and half still only made a half. She said that in order for a relationship to thrive and be healthy, both parties had to be "wholes." 

Over the course of my past relationships I have had this theory put to the test and turns out, she was right. It took me a long time to grasp the concept, but I finally have. No one can complete you except you. I don't believe in the whole lost soul-mate philosophy; that there is someone out there somewhere that we are "supposed' to be with and that without them we aren't complete.  I believe that God made us complete; with all that we need inside of us and that even if we never meet someone to share our lives with, we can be whole. 

Sadly, these days many people are raised to be "halves." They're brought up feeling the pressure of finding someone to complete them, to make them happy, to fulfill their dreams. I'm not saying we that as humans we don't desire to be with other humans or that we don't desire love. But when that defines you, when someone else defines you (i.e. you have no identity apart from someone else), then you become a half. And what's negative about being a half? You're always searching for someone to complete you. And even though you may find someone who you think is your other half and completes you, unless you are both "whole" it most likely won't be a forever situation. 

So today I want to encourage you; don't be a half. Be a whole. Be you. Find your own path, plot your own ground, make your own life. And then if and when someone comes along that is also a whole, the two of you can be whole together as opposed to trying to make each other whole. 

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