Aww, Rats!

Well, well well,..back from our latest camping adventure. I am beyond exhausted and so happy to be in my own bed, diffusing my eucalyptus oil and watching Judge Judy. Ha. Some things never change. Well, the oil diffusing is a new thing. Probably one that will stick around though. The hubby is even enjoying it. I may have to get him a diffuser for his side of the bed. But I digress.

It's been a couple of months since we've been camping and I was so looking forward to this trip. Both of our birthdays (hubs and mine) fall at the end of the year and it seemed like the perfect way to celebrate. I picked Palo Duro Canyon for the festivities. I went once when I was about 10 or so and have been wanting to go back ever since. Hubby had never been so it was a perfect fit.

Normally we would take the tent, but given the fact that the temps were supposed to be in the teens at night, we opted to do a limited use cabin instead. The cabins are located at different areas of the canyon and provide a terrific view. The one we reserved had A/C and heat, a double bunk bed, refrigerator, microwave and table/chair. Perfect! The trailer Justin is building isn't entirely completed yet so this would be a great way to avoid lugging the mini fridge and other camping equipment with us.

As excited as I was, I know by now that life happens even on vacation. Here's a list of the many life moments that happened over the course of the trip.

1. We left an hour and half late. Totally the norm for us, but still annoying. 
2. Audrey, who did NOT need to go potty when asked 50x, suddenly needed to when no restrooms were to be found. The side of the road attempt was interesting to say the least. Pull-ups to the rescue. 
3. We ran out of gas on the way. A first for the hubby and his ego is still slightly bruised over it. I don't know why, but I guess it's a guy thing. 
4. We stopped for a restroom break and whilst helping Audrey, I stood up quickly and hit the ever-lovin' out of my head on the metal part of the lock that sticks out from the door. Holy. I seriously thought it was going to bleed. 
5. We stopped for another restroom break (at a rest stop) and due to the trailer size we parked in the back and Justin went in to use the bathroom. Well......apparently the water wasn't working and in fact, at the FRONT of the building was a sign that said "restroom closed" along with several porta-potties that were supposed to be used.  I feel so sorry for whomever discovered that the toilet had, in fact, been used. His declaration of, "Those were REALLY nice bathrooms! So clean!" makes this even better. 
6. Unbeknownst to us, the entire park is currently under a burn ban. This means no fires of any kind. So those hours that the hubs spent chopping up firewood? Pointless. Plus the added weight of it to the trailer....fab. And just not having a fire in general meant we would really need the use of the heater in the cabin as we wouldn't be able to sit around and enjoy the campfire in the evenings (which, I might add, is Audrey's "thing.")
7. ****This is the big one***** Upon arriving at the cabin, hubs opened the door and promptly said..."Hmmm, well,.....I don't know that I should tell you this." Me: "What????" Him: "There was a rat on the wall." Me: "WHAT!" Him: "Yes, we scared him. He ran up into the roof." Me:....honestly I don't remember as the terror hit about this time. Yes, the cabin was rat infested. The way the roofs are built, there is an added wood drop down from the original brick structure. I don't know if it was done to insulate or for aesthetics or what, but it's a large enough crawl space for rats to get inside. I will continue with the rat story after the list is completed.  
8. The "heater" for the cabin was quite possibly the smallest space heater ever. And given the fact that fires were not allowed (there was a fireplace inside the cabin) it was FREEZING! I think I slept in 5 layers. 
9. I dropped a chair directly on my toe. The type of drop where your toenail bleeds from underneath. Joy.
10. The morning after the rat stay (yep, we stayed there - again, will continue after the list) all I wanted was coffee. Wouldn't you know, the Keurig we brought (the same one we did a test run on at home) would not work. Not in the slightest. 
11. The morning after the rat stay, we were told by the park attendants that in fact fires WERE allowed in the cabins. Too little too late. 
12. During the course of the trip Audrey acquired a "baby seal" (it's a raccoon) that she fell in love with....then she lost. Absolute meltdown and wailing and crying and gnashing of teeth (not really, but the first two, yes). She was so entirely distraught at the thought of the poor thing being alone in the world even though I reassured her many times that whomever found it would give it a good home. Luckily, we were close to place we originally got it and we went back, purchased another, snuck it in mommy's purse and she is none the wiser. Nice save, dad.
13. In a world where a Starbucks is on every corner, I do believe we spent half of the trip looking for one to no avail. We finally found one....on the way home....at 5pm. My frappaccino was amazing. 

Ah, life. I freaking love it. And that is said with zero sarcasm. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything..well, maybe the rat one and the toe one; that hurt!! 

RATS!! Oh.my.goodness. By the time we got to the cabin it was way too late to go anywhere else so we really had no option but to stay for the night. At first, I convinced myself that it wasn't a big deal. We set up camp (beds, food, etc.), ate dinner and listened to Johnny Cash as usual. Then we got ready for bed and oh my. You could hear them wrestling, and walking and squeaking. It was utterly terrifying. We've had coyotes walk through our campsite during the night and that was less terrifying than this. No joke. Audrey was clueless and slept like a champ, but not me and hubs. He would wake up every few hours and chase the ones that were on the walls back up (yes, on the walls!!) and I lay shaking under a comforter all night. When morning finally came, hubs and I looked at each other with a look that said it all...we are OUTTA HERE!! Luckily, the park attendants were amazing and fully refunded our money. We were able to locate a cabin at the local KOA and things got MUCH better after that. 

All in all, it was an amazing trip. We are tired and happy to be home with our Woof Woof, but fear not, we will be back out there and at it again soon! This time in a rat-free tent!!! 

Lots of love, 

Mrs. Branam 

P.S. Enjoy the pics! Xoxo

The "Rat Cabin"

The line up. 

She's such a doll baby

Our destination. 

Hiking up to the cave.

We made it!!

Unicorn made the trip with us. 

She was an amazing little traveler.

The views are so amazing.

Photo cred on these to the hubs.

My heart. 

Dinner for mommy's birthday.

Breakfast for daddy's birthday. 

You're Hurting Mommy's Feelings.

I've heard it said many times. It's usually an attempt to get a child to do something or to stop doing something. "You're hurting mommy's feelings! You're going to make mommy cry!" Or the always effective fake crying done by parents, grandparents, friends - also usually used to manipulate a child in some way. It seems innocent enough at the time, but let me assure you, it's not.

What is actually happening is that the child is learning to associate his or her behavior with that of others. If I do this, mommy cries. I don't like it when mommy cries so I should stop. If I don't do this, daddy will get upset and I don't want daddy to get upset. It's a cop out to parenting and teaches the child that they are somehow responsible for the emotions of the adults around them. They often begin to feel the need to "protect" their parents and those they love. This is not only incredibly sad for the child but is also bass ackwards.

In no way shape or form are children responsible for their parents emotions and well-being. Parents are just that; parents. They are grown ass adults who are responsible for their own well beings and emotions. Tasking such a job to a child is beyond wrong in the natural order. It's actually parents who are tasked with guarding and protecting their children's emotions and overall sense of being.

Unfortunately, all too often this pattern will follow a parent/child relationship into adulthood. Teens and young adults often make life choices (college, career, where they live, who they marry, who they don't marry) based solely on what they think/know will make their parents happy and not what will make THEM happy. If the child (now grown) attempts to do something or actually does do something that is for themselves, if the parent does not agree with said choice, it looks something like this "I can't believe you're doing this to me! How could you??! You have no idea how much you're hurting me!!" Other manifestations might include not speaking to the child, telling the child (and possibly siblings) how disappointed they are in the child who is going their own way, etc.

Parent, I iterate again. You are GROWN ASS ADULTS. YOU and only YOU are responsible for your feelings. And contrary to popular belief, it's entirely possible for you to be happy in your own right. For you to recognize that your children are not you, they aren't really even a part of you. In fact, they are totally and entirely themselves. You may feel like they should be one way or the other based on how you were, how you raised them, etc. But at the end of the day, your children are individuals. They are wonderful, amazing, unique individuals who deserve the chance to live a life free of parental emotional blackmail and parental emotional debt (another day another post).

News Flash!!!! Your children will most likely make many choices you don't agree with and that's 100% okay and 100% healthy.  What is not 100% okay or healthy is for you to hold them responsible for how YOU feel about what THEY do. You handle that mess. You go vent to a friend or a husband or a therapist or a glass of wine. But do NOT put that on your child. They are doing something FOR them, not something TO you. And as previously stated, they deserve to be able to learn and grow and fall down and get up and have triumphs and failures and believe and live totally different from you without the constant nagging of your personal emotional struggle in their faces.

No matter what my daughters choose for themselves, I will always be there for them. The few times that my oldest daughter has witnessed me crying, she has been given a full run-down of  "This is my issue, not yours and it's not you. This is me. It's a struggle I'm dealing with and I will figure it out." There is nothing wrong with expressing the fact that you're struggling with your children. But there is something wrong with making them feel responsible for it.

Heaven forbid if the words "You're hurting mommy's feelings" every come out of my mouth, I pray my 2 year old will answer me with one of her current favorite phrases: "Get it together, mom!"