Farewell, Faithful Friend

I've not been updating my blog as often as I used to, so for those who follow here, this will come as a surprise.

Yesterday was my last day with my precious Charlie girl.  My life is changing rapidly; I'm moving in a month, Audrey is now crawling and standing and into EVERYTHING, and with all of the changes, poor Charlie girl was just not getting the attention that I felt she deserved. She had also become very jealous of the baby and I was very concerned about how she would react with Audrey becoming more mobile. The combo of all of that led me to the painful decision of re-homing her. I said a prayer and posted an add on my company's Yammer site. To my delight, I got a response. A guy that I work with thought she would be a good match as a playmate for his dog (an Australian Shepherd). We did a trial run a few weeks ago and it went well. He agreed to take her and yesterday he came and picked her up.

With the way things have been going lately, I kinda figured I would put my feelings of loss aside in a "to be dealt with at a later time" compartment and move forward. But scrolling though pictures today have made me misty eyed.

Charlie came to me as a result of my last relationship. You can read that full story here.

I could make this post go on for hours with story after story of my faithful companion, but I will leave you with one short one and a ton of pictures instead. ;)

After my ex and I parted ways I fell into an incredibly deep depression. Most days it was all I could do to function at work and as soon as I would get home all I wanted to do was sleep. I've read that dogs are really in tune with our emotions, however, if Charlie knew I was having it rough, she completely ignored the fact. Instead of offering a shoulder for me to cry on, she demanded that I pay attention to her, namely walking her at the track across the street each night. If I failed to do so, she would whine and annoy me until I gave in. At first I was extremely bitter about it. I didn't want to be walking my dog, I wanted to be sleeping and grieving. But as time went by and night after night I put on my sneakers and made my way around the track, I started noticing a change. I was no longer anxious to get back home to my bed of misery. I began to enjoy the walks. They became a safe haven where I could process my thoughts a midst a beautiful setting sun. And slowly but surely, I started to live again.  Maybe Charlie was in tune, maybe somehow she knew that the only way for me to get better was to continue on; to plow forward.

I will miss my Charlie girl so very much and I am so grateful for the past 4 years that I got to be her mommy.

My Child.....My Puppy.

I've posted about Charlie several times before. She has been my only child up until this point. And the older she's gotten the more like a child she's become. So much so that I am actually very confident in my parenting skills after having dealt with her for the past 3 years.

For one thing the dog is incredibly high maintenance. If you read my previous post, you know that Charlie suffers from hot spots. After many trial and error situations including testing and meds, we have come to the conclusion that they are a product of several things. Charlie has food allergies and has to stay on a strict vegetarian diet. She also has flea allergies and will have very large flare ups if she gets bit by a flea. She also suffers from anxiety (like mother like dog) and when she gets really excited she will start to bite herself. The three of these combined make for an interesting life for both of us. I have to be very strict about her eating habits. No treats other than all veggie treats, no bones or raw hides (poor baby,she hates that one) and absolutely no table scraps. In addition, she has to take medication daily or every other day that runs about $250 for a 30 day supply. INSANE.  Along with the food and meds, I have to be very careful of what she's exposed to outside. Granted, I have no control as to whether a flea bites her while she's out walking or not, but I try to make sure we aren't in places that are overrun with weeds and such in order to avoid it as best as I can. If she does happen to get bit, I have to find where she's been bitten (easier said than done, the dog has hair thicker than mine), shave the spot and all around it so that it's exposed to the outside air for better healing, and continually apply Neosporin to the break out area until it heals. When she does get bit, often it's more than one bite so she'll have several small shaved patches near her tail-end.

Besides her medical situation the dog is straight up clingy. I know it's a trait of the breed and some of the time it's very cute, but others it is darn annoying. For instance I cannot, CANNOT clean house without being followed every step of the way. And when I say "house" I mean my tiny, one bedroom apartment. So every Sunday, I get ready to trip over my 90 lb. toddler as I attempt to make the place presentable. I also cannot open the pantry or refrigerator without her standing RIGHT there with a "Got something for me, mom?" look on her face. Also since the pregnancy, she's started sleeping with me. This is something she never did before and the only reason I can come up with for her starting now is the pregnancy. So every night, several times a night I have a massive beast jumping up onto the bed next to me. And she apparently is convinced that it's actually her bed and not mine, because she takes it over. If I move her at all to spread out more I get a death type of look that says, "Umm,...excuse me? This is my bed!" And I have said out-loud to her, "Actually, this is MY bed!"

But, mothers make sacrifices for their children and my sleeping habits are one of many things that I've sacrificed for her.

Take last night for example. For whatever reason my German Shepherd is scared of thunderstorms; namely the lightening. So, it was up and down, on the bed, off the bed, under the bed, in the closet, and repeat over and over. Finally during one of her times on the bed I just decided to go ahead and turn the light on so the lightening brightness would be dimmed some. It worked. She quickly fell asleep and we slept with the light on until the storm passed.

The point in all of this is that though I have a crazy high maintenance dog that has cost me thousands in dollars and quite a bit in time and tears as well, she has been/is the perfect lead-in to a baby. I already know what it's like to be exhausted from not sleeping, to take trips to the ER (hopefully that's a rarity with Audrey) and adjust to special dietary needs. I also know what it's like to watch her sleeping and immediately forgive her for any exasperation she may have caused me throughout the day and to wake up every morning to a face thrilled to see me. I know once the baby gets here my love for Charlie will take on a different form, but I can promise you it will not be any less than it is right now. She will always be my "first-born."