Farewell, Faithful Friend

I've not been updating my blog as often as I used to, so for those who follow here, this will come as a surprise.

Yesterday was my last day with my precious Charlie girl.  My life is changing rapidly; I'm moving in a month, Audrey is now crawling and standing and into EVERYTHING, and with all of the changes, poor Charlie girl was just not getting the attention that I felt she deserved. She had also become very jealous of the baby and I was very concerned about how she would react with Audrey becoming more mobile. The combo of all of that led me to the painful decision of re-homing her. I said a prayer and posted an add on my company's Yammer site. To my delight, I got a response. A guy that I work with thought she would be a good match as a playmate for his dog (an Australian Shepherd). We did a trial run a few weeks ago and it went well. He agreed to take her and yesterday he came and picked her up.

With the way things have been going lately, I kinda figured I would put my feelings of loss aside in a "to be dealt with at a later time" compartment and move forward. But scrolling though pictures today have made me misty eyed.

Charlie came to me as a result of my last relationship. You can read that full story here.

I could make this post go on for hours with story after story of my faithful companion, but I will leave you with one short one and a ton of pictures instead. ;)

After my ex and I parted ways I fell into an incredibly deep depression. Most days it was all I could do to function at work and as soon as I would get home all I wanted to do was sleep. I've read that dogs are really in tune with our emotions, however, if Charlie knew I was having it rough, she completely ignored the fact. Instead of offering a shoulder for me to cry on, she demanded that I pay attention to her, namely walking her at the track across the street each night. If I failed to do so, she would whine and annoy me until I gave in. At first I was extremely bitter about it. I didn't want to be walking my dog, I wanted to be sleeping and grieving. But as time went by and night after night I put on my sneakers and made my way around the track, I started noticing a change. I was no longer anxious to get back home to my bed of misery. I began to enjoy the walks. They became a safe haven where I could process my thoughts a midst a beautiful setting sun. And slowly but surely, I started to live again.  Maybe Charlie was in tune, maybe somehow she knew that the only way for me to get better was to continue on; to plow forward.

I will miss my Charlie girl so very much and I am so grateful for the past 4 years that I got to be her mommy.

Mosaic Monday: Bitter End.

We are approaching the end and the closer we get the more miserable I become. I've been hyping myself up for this last bit and clearly it didn't work. Ha! I am soooooo tired. I do get random bursts of energy but they are short lived and almost not worth taking advantage of because after exerting the energy, I'm doubly exhausted.

Luckily I've accomplished almost everything on my "to-do" list before Audrey's arrival. I detailed my car last weekend (notice I said "I" detailed.) Spent 4 hours on it at least. It turned out awesome though and the next day I successfully put in baby girl's car seat. I love it!!! Shortly thereafter, Charlie and I went on a test drive. I've got to see how she will be in the backseat with the car seat there. So far she's been nothing but a doll. She got a little aggressive when someone walked next to the window while the car was parked, but I know she's crazy protective already, so pretty sure that's all that was. I'll make the final decision on whether or not to let her ride next to Audrey after I see how she responds to her.

The other biggie on my to-do list was/is to finish my apartment. I'm not quite there but I'm so very close. Nonni came over this weekend and helped me finish Audrey's area. I think it is sooooo cute. I'm still waiting on one more piece to pull it together, but once I get that I'll post a picture. Now all that's left is my vanity/dresser and I have NO clue what to put there. It may just end up staying barren like it is now. I will try my best to put my OCD aside and just let it be. Hehe.  Other than that, the only thing I need to do is give the house a good cleaning....and soon. I am just guessing but I highly doubt that I'm going to feel like doing much besides surviving after the next 2-4 weeks! 

On a personal note, if you read one of my latest posts, you know that I was considering cutting all my hair off. Well, I did it. So glad that I did. It's super easy and just really fits my lifestyle at the moment. 

I am looking really pregnant these days. I went to my fertility clinic's annual baby shower this weekend and my doctor said, "Wow! That is a bump!" Indeed it is. And becoming bumpier every day!. I'm to the point that if I drop something on the floor I have to seriously consider how badly I need it before attempting to pick it up.  I can also feel her dropping and I've had several Braxton Hicks.

My shower is in 3 weeks! Very excited about that. I now wish I had opted to have it at 7 months pregnant vs. 8 months pregnant, but hindsight is 20/20. As long as they prop me up on a couple of pillows I should be okay.

Well, I guess that's all the news I have for today! Hope everyone has a great week!

31 Weeks!


~ I'm linking to Mary's Mosaic Monday. ~ 

My Child.....My Puppy.

I've posted about Charlie several times before. She has been my only child up until this point. And the older she's gotten the more like a child she's become. So much so that I am actually very confident in my parenting skills after having dealt with her for the past 3 years.

For one thing the dog is incredibly high maintenance. If you read my previous post, you know that Charlie suffers from hot spots. After many trial and error situations including testing and meds, we have come to the conclusion that they are a product of several things. Charlie has food allergies and has to stay on a strict vegetarian diet. She also has flea allergies and will have very large flare ups if she gets bit by a flea. She also suffers from anxiety (like mother like dog) and when she gets really excited she will start to bite herself. The three of these combined make for an interesting life for both of us. I have to be very strict about her eating habits. No treats other than all veggie treats, no bones or raw hides (poor baby,she hates that one) and absolutely no table scraps. In addition, she has to take medication daily or every other day that runs about $250 for a 30 day supply. INSANE.  Along with the food and meds, I have to be very careful of what she's exposed to outside. Granted, I have no control as to whether a flea bites her while she's out walking or not, but I try to make sure we aren't in places that are overrun with weeds and such in order to avoid it as best as I can. If she does happen to get bit, I have to find where she's been bitten (easier said than done, the dog has hair thicker than mine), shave the spot and all around it so that it's exposed to the outside air for better healing, and continually apply Neosporin to the break out area until it heals. When she does get bit, often it's more than one bite so she'll have several small shaved patches near her tail-end.

Besides her medical situation the dog is straight up clingy. I know it's a trait of the breed and some of the time it's very cute, but others it is darn annoying. For instance I cannot, CANNOT clean house without being followed every step of the way. And when I say "house" I mean my tiny, one bedroom apartment. So every Sunday, I get ready to trip over my 90 lb. toddler as I attempt to make the place presentable. I also cannot open the pantry or refrigerator without her standing RIGHT there with a "Got something for me, mom?" look on her face. Also since the pregnancy, she's started sleeping with me. This is something she never did before and the only reason I can come up with for her starting now is the pregnancy. So every night, several times a night I have a massive beast jumping up onto the bed next to me. And she apparently is convinced that it's actually her bed and not mine, because she takes it over. If I move her at all to spread out more I get a death type of look that says, "Umm,...excuse me? This is my bed!" And I have said out-loud to her, "Actually, this is MY bed!"

But, mothers make sacrifices for their children and my sleeping habits are one of many things that I've sacrificed for her.

Take last night for example. For whatever reason my German Shepherd is scared of thunderstorms; namely the lightening. So, it was up and down, on the bed, off the bed, under the bed, in the closet, and repeat over and over. Finally during one of her times on the bed I just decided to go ahead and turn the light on so the lightening brightness would be dimmed some. It worked. She quickly fell asleep and we slept with the light on until the storm passed.

The point in all of this is that though I have a crazy high maintenance dog that has cost me thousands in dollars and quite a bit in time and tears as well, she has been/is the perfect lead-in to a baby. I already know what it's like to be exhausted from not sleeping, to take trips to the ER (hopefully that's a rarity with Audrey) and adjust to special dietary needs. I also know what it's like to watch her sleeping and immediately forgive her for any exasperation she may have caused me throughout the day and to wake up every morning to a face thrilled to see me. I know once the baby gets here my love for Charlie will take on a different form, but I can promise you it will not be any less than it is right now. She will always be my "first-born."

What's the Price of Loyalty These Days?

Loyal: Giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution. 

I love the word "loyal." I love loyalty. But loyalty is hard to find these days. Whether it's to a friendship, a baseball team or even a country; loyalty just isn't what it used to be. There is however, an exception; our canine companions. 

There's good reason and meaning behind the phrase "Man's Best Friend."  I know in my life it's certainly proven to be true. 

In spring of 2010, I was looking for some love and affection and wasn't getting what I needed from my ex (surprise, surprise) so I set off on a quest to get a puppy. It had been years since I had owned a dog. Actually, if the truth be told, I had never really owned a dog. We had a family dog growing up, but my mother was her primary caretaker.  

Our previous dog, Lucy, was a chocolate lab so I started looking at those first. But labs are crazy expensive, especially puppies and I wasn't in the position to spend $500 on a dog. (That will prove to have incredible irony later on.) After scouring the Internet for a week or two I finally came across something that caught my eye. German Shepherd puppies for $75. I called and spoke to the owner. She said that the mother was their family dog ; a full blooded German Shepherd. And the father was the neighbors dog; a full blooded Australian Shepherd. They lived about two hours from us, but the pictures were so adorable and the price was just right so I took a day off work and the ex and I headed out to get a puppy. When we arrived they were in a pen in the back yard. The mother greeted us quite loudly (a trait her daughter would carry on.) As we approached the crate this little black and brown fur ball jumped up to greet us. I bent down and petted her. She was quickly followed by another little fur ball. There were three to pick from total. After standing there for a bit, I turned to my ex and said, "Based on personality alone, which one?" He pointed, "This one."  It was the first one that had greeted us so cheerfully. And thus, Charlie (female) became a part of my family. 

It turned out the ex had made a good choice. She was the most precious puppy ever. As she started to grow up she developed the most adorable traits and personality quirks. At one point in time, her ears stood completely out to the side causing us to give her the nickname, the flying nun. 

I've read that German Shepherds often have one person in the family that they bond with more so than the others. And Charlie is no exception. Her subject of loyalty? Me. In the picture above she's waiting on me to return from being out. We were living with my mother at the time and she would tell me that almost every time I would leave the dog would park in front of the window or the door and not move until I returned. To this day, if my mom is keeping her and I return, she can tell what car is mine the minute I turn onto the street. 

In June of 2011, I was on a work trip to NOLA when I received a phone call from my mother stating that the dog was sick. She had developed a spot on her skin that she had chewed so much it had become mangled and bloody. She was in extreme pain and needed emergency care. My mom took Charlie into the emergency vet for what would turn out to be a hot spot. It was quite an extensive visit that required a great amount of care AND of money. I don't fully remember the total, but it was in the $100's. The outcome? A coned dog. 

Sadly, that wouldn't be the only trip to the ER for Charlie Girl. Just a couple of months later she was attacked by something in the back yard. We're not sure what, but the vet thinks it was most likely a possum. That encounter resulted in a fully shaved back for the poor darling and another several hundred out of my pocket book. 

I wish I could say it ended there but it didn't. Since then there have been at least 5 trips to the regular vet and at least 2 trips to the emergency room.  Since the first trip to the ER about a year and a half ago I have spent probably close to 3-4 thousand dollars on vet bills, with the most recent hits being a month ago (ER visit), two weeks ago (vet visit) and yesterday (vet visit). 

As it turns out, Charlie is allergic to something which causes her to have constant hot spots. We're not totally sure what it is, but we're working on that. Testing a dog for allergies is not exactly the same as testing a human. It's also extremely expensive and can go up into the thousands for treatment. 

With a baby on the way, my primary concern is making sure that I'm financially stable and secure for the future. And several times over the past two months I have had to seriously consider the possibility of getting rid of my dog. But every time I do, I get sick to my stomach. If there is one "person" that has stuck by me through the ups and downs of the past two years, it's that precious baby girl. No matter how upset I am (sometimes at her), there she is. There she is sitting at my feet with her head rested on my legs, looking up at me with a look that says, "It's all gonna be okay. I love you."  Perhaps it's the hormones making me cry as I write this, but I doubt it. My love for my loyal companion is, and always will be overflowing. 

My mom said to me last night, "You just have to decide if it's worth it. Does the good outweigh the bad?" 

So what is the price of loyalty? It's expensive. It's tiring, it's stressful and even maddening at times. But yes, it's 100% worth it.