8 Months Old

My chunky monkey turned 8 months old yesterday. What a difference a month can make! She is crawling EVERYWHERE and standing up on EVERYTHING! Mommy can hardly keep up! Here are some snapshots and footage of the past month. Enjoy!

Audrey is really starting to enjoy "real" food now. This is hummus. Clearly a favorite. 

Audrey had her first Valentines Day date; John Carter. Apparently roses are yummy. 

She was not a happy valentine that morning, however. But certainly a cute one!

I love this new "smile" she has going on. She has 6 teeth now; 4 on top and 2 on bottom. 

Here she is! Crawling like crazy! 

Happiness Is Mine.

I promised you a happy post last week and I failed to fulfill. So here it is!!

My precious angel baby that I am so deeply, madly in love with is 7 months old!! I cannot believe how fast the time is flown by. Before I know it she will be a year old! But I refuse to think that far ahead. Right now she is 7 months old and a total "mess cat," as I call her. She is so on the verge of crawling it's not even funny. The platinum blonde hair is getting thicker by the day. She loves to laugh and play. And as crazy as it sounds, she can keep a beat!!! She loves to pat her hands and kick her feet. She brings me joy beyond measure. 

You've Been Warned.

I realize it's been FOREVER since I've posted and sadly, if you're looking for a happy-go-lucky post, this will not be it. I need to get some things off my chest though and this seems to be the best way. I promise you a happy post coming up next week.

Life has been coming at me like crazy these past few months, and frankly, I need a break. I need a rest. I don't know if that means a vacation or just a week off but something has got to give. And when I say I need a break I mean from everything; including my child. I can see some of your shaking your heads in disapproval already. "What? A break from your baby? How horrible!"  I mean, I knew what I was getting into, right? Being a choice mom and all, so how dare I need a break from my kid? How about, because I AM a choice mom, which means I have no one to help relieve me. Ever. I'm not a single parent who has a baby daddy that comes once a week or once every other week to take her for a few days. Sitters are proving to be beyond ridiculous to find and even when you do find them they tend to want a month notice before agreeing to watch the baby. My bad, I didn't realize I would have a tough week this week....a month ago. Well, too bad!! Guess I should have thought of that before I had a kid without a husband. Maybe I should go find one now. Oh wait, you have to date to do that. Hope he likes kids....cause one will be sitting next to us.....on our date. And I also hope he's okay with day dates....like lunchtime dates, because Audrey's bedtime is now 7:30, so past that time, all is pointless.

None of this means I don't love my child, by the way. Nor does it mean that I wish I hadn't made the choice to have her. It means I'm human, I'm not superwoman and I'm beyond exhausted. Along with all of that, it feels like none of the effort and work that I put in is even noticed. I think two, maybe three people have ever actually told me that I'm a good mother.  I mean, I know I'm a good mother, but it's just like hearing "I love you" from someone that you know does, it goes such a long way in helping me feel like it's all worth something in the end. I tell Audrey regularly, "Mommy's doing the best she can." Maybe one day she'll understand, who knows. For now, mommy's done for the day. Hope you all have a fabulous Saturday evening. I'm going to bed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving from me and my little turkey!! 

Mosaic Monday: Mommy & Me

I've yet to announce on my blog until today, I GOT A JOB! YAY!!! I start next Monday. I'm really excited to get back to work, however I know I will miss my baby girl! We've become quite the duo. 

I'm linking to Mosaic Monday. 

Date Me Not.

So I went on a date last night; the first one in over a year. About a month ago I got back on eHarmony and Match. Since I didn't conceive my daughter the "traditional" way, I've never felt like there was a need for a hiatus from dating after she was born.

I was really excited. I did all the girly things like get a manicure and text pictures to my friends for their approval. We met for dinner at a place near my house. Nonni watched the baby. I had a great time. Nice guy. Tall, funny, easy to get along with. So, second date, right? Wrong. While I fully enjoyed being out with him, I came to the realization that I am not ready to date and I don't know if I ever will be.

Dating in and of itself has always been a pain to me anyway. My experiences in the past have been less than pleasant to say the least. Let's see, there was the guy that got a table for us in the bar so that he could watch the football game (note this was our first date). Then after sitting in the bar and watching the game the entire time, decides he's going to try to come back to my house by saying he wants to meet my dog. Ummmmm...no dude, you don't. Trust me. Then there was the guy that found it fully appropriate to tell me a story involving a "massage parlor" on our first date. There was the guy that insisted on calling me before we met and talking for about 4 hours each day, thus on our first date we had NOTHING to talk about. Then there was the guy that I never even had a first date with. We were supposed to meet for lunch and when I got busy at work and had to cancel, he adamantly told me that I could not cancel on him because he had "scheduled me in." I could go on, but you get the idea.

But regardless of my track record, my reasons for feeling like I may never date again have nothing to do with the actual men themselves.  Instead they have to do with one thing: expectations.

Expectations are everywhere in life, but they are really strong in the dating world. You meet someone online or through a friend and decided to go on a date. Boom! Expectation. Whether it's for the other person to pay for the meal or for a goodnight kiss, something is expected. And frankly, I'm tired of feeling like I have to live up to anyone's expectations. I'm having a hard enough time living up to my own expectations as it is! I have no job after CHOOSING to give birth to my daughter. I have a body that I don't have a clue what to do with. I'm not fat in any way, but my body is just....different. I have skin that hangs on my stomach that used to be completely taut against it. I have lines and creases in random places. Then on top of that I have a house that is completely a mess more than half of the time. And on top of that I have child who is dependent upon me for her every need. And THAT reason, above all, is the most important.

I have a child. She needs me. My time and energy need to solely focused on her and providing for her. Not on trying to meet some guy's expectations of me. And on top of that, I'm just not ready to share her yet. I worked so hard to have her on my own, that I want to keep her on my own for a very long time.

Maybe one day the man of my dreams will knock me off of my feet. But for now, the girl of my dreams has my full attention.

Jobs and Puke and Yoda...Oh My!

Hello out there in blog land! I hope everyone is doing well. I know I've fallen way behind on blogging. I have no good excuse other than, I just haven't been in the mood.

Still no job. I thought I had one last week. Had a second interview and was told by the HR manager that they really wanted me and were going to make me an offer. They did, however, they low balled me in the offer by about 8k!!! Ridiculous!! I counter offered, but they never responded. So, here I sit at my trusty laptop scouring the web for opportunities.  I'm trying not to drive myself insane, but it's getting difficult.

On the baby front, Audrey is growing like a weed! I measured her last week and she is 25 inches long. Last time I weighed her she was 16 pounds. She rolled over a couple of weeks ago for the first time. She's really starting to "scoot" when she's on her tummy. I see crawling in the nearish future. She is in that "puke" phase. Almost every day there is puke on EVERYTHING. Hopefully we phase out of that soon. Tehehe.

We went to Zoo Boo last week (I'll blog more about that later.) Here is my little wise one.

The Force is with her. 

Even Yoda needs protective eye wear. 

Mosaic Monday ~ Let's Bumbo!

Happy Monday, my peeps! I hope your weekend was fabulous and here's to hoping that this week is as well.

Since we last chatted, my Audrey girl is teething even more. In addition to one tooth she has three on the way. Teething may very well be the end of me! It's so hard to watch her be in so much pain and know there is nothing I can do. I've tried Tylenol, Orajel and teething tablets. All seem to provide minimal relief.

After a very long day yesterday, Audrey finally fell asleep on mommy's bed around 6 pm. I didn't know how long she would sleep, but it ended up being 11 hours. So around 5 am, she was awake and ready to go (at least for a good hour).  Along with teething, Audrey is also on the verge of sitting up by herself. She sits on my lap with minimal support and really tries her hardest to pull herself up if she's in a lounging type position. She's no longer a huge fan of her Boppy, so yesterday mommy borrowed a Bumbo from her bestie. I don't know about you, but 5 am sounded like a great time to try it out to me! Below is our Bumbo adventure.

I'm linking to Mosaic Monday. 

3 Months Old

Can't believe it!! My baby girl is 3 months old! She's growing so big so fast. She is "talking" a lot now and loves to smile and laugh. She's not rolling over yet, but she is certainly moving. If you place her in one spot while she's sleeping, she will end up in a completely different spot and position.  She still doesn't really like the car seat. She will take it for awhile but if she's in any way shape or form tired, it is not a pleasant thing. She's fully sleeping through the night which is WONDERFUL. She has been napping a lot less and for shorter periods of time. I haven't weighed her in awhile but I would guesstimate she's around 13 pounds. She still fits in some 0-3 month clothing but can also fit in some 3 month and some 3-6 month. She's crazy long with long limbs. Her feet are super skinny but LONG!

So in love with my angel baby! We decided to put on a fancy dress to celebrate our "birthday." As you can see, she had quite a time with the tulle. I love you, miss Audrey!! Happy 3 months!

The Eyes Have It.

To say that life has been stressful the past few weeks would be an understatement. The past three days in particular, have been incredibly rough on me mentally. While I have a little bit before finding a job becomes crucial, I am ready to get back in the work force and know that the longer I'm without work, the harder it will be to find work.

Needing a short escape from my hermit ways, Audrey and I went over to my mom's house this evening to hang out. I watched Project Runway and Audrey....well....Audrey ate and fussed and finally fell asleep. Since she's been doing so great on her sleeping schedule, I thought she would fall back asleep easily when we got home (the car seat ride usually wakes her). Wrong. 

Although I've tried not to let it become a habit, Audrey has become accustomed to falling asleep with a bottle in her mouth. A pacifier is not a valid substitute either; she wants a bottle. So, the past few days/nights I've taken to propping a bottle up beside her on a rolled up blanket and she usually falls asleep shortly thereafter. Well, since I've been resting a lot lately, I decided tonight would be a good night to try and break that habit by getting her to fall asleep with either a pacifier or nothing at all. Wrong. 

She flared and flipped and flopped. Fussed and fidgeted. Twisted and squiggled and squirmed. We walked and rocked and soothed and spit up (her, not me). Finally, mommy gave in and made her a bottle.

While I was feeding her, holding her and the bottle with one arm and scrolling through my phone with the other, I came across an article that a friend had shared on Facebook. It was titled "Coping with Intensity in Children" and was talking about gifted children and how they are crazy intense about things. How they have more ups and downs with emotions and ask a lot of questions 24x7.  

As I'm scrolling and reading, I glance over at Audrey to see how the "feed to sleep" method is working. I look over to find her staring at me and I mean STARING at me....intensely. I guess it was the combo of my exhaustion + the look + the article.  I busted out laughing. So much so that I jostled her and the bottle right out of her mouth. She paused, frowned and then started to cry. For whatever reason (I guess it was the look on her face), this only caused me to laugh harder (mean mommy).  Now I'm crying from laughing so hard and she's crying from being startled. I finally start to calm down somewhat (still laughing though), put the bottle back in her mouth and tell her "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." She's now looking at me intensely again, but she's smiling.....then she starts laughing. Then I start laughing. Then she's starts crying........HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Eventually we both stopped laughing and crying, she went to sleep without her bottle in her mouth, and I feel at least ten times better than I have in a long time. Laughter truly is the best medicine; good for what ails ya.

Happy Friday, peeps!

The eyes. 

This and That.

Life is a bit chaotic at the moment. My days are filled with job searching, telephone screenings and the like. I had an interview on Monday. It was the first one I've had. I've had several phone interviews/screenings, but none of them have turned into a solid interview. And boy, was it an interview!  Three and half hours with six people. Yes. Six people. Insane! I THINK it went really well, but you never know with those type of things. They didn't say when they would be making a decision by but my guess would be by the end of the week. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed that I get it. The company is amazing and I think it would be really great to work for; a place to retire at, actually.

On the baby front, Audrey is growing leaps and bounds. She turned 10 weeks old yesterday. Cannot believe it. She's really starting to come alive and has such a little personality. She laughed out loud for the first time today. She's laughed in her sleep before but never AT something/someone. This one was brought on by mommy singing and dancing with her to Disney songs.  She's also hitting milestones; holding her head more and with better control, holding herself up on her arms (not quite there yet, but almost), sleeping through the night (BIG ONE!) and eating like crazy. I will probably start adding some cereal to her formula in the next two weeks. We will see how that goes.

Well, that's all from this side of the world. Until next time, lovelies.

Fatherly Facts.

If you've not been following me long, or perhaps have just forgotten (wink wink), my choice of a donor was an interesting process. You can read about it in my previous post, The Donor Discussion.

Anyway, last night I got more information on my donor to keep for Audrey. I'm compiling all of the info that they will give me and keeping it for her. Originally, I had his profile summary but not the complete profile. I decided to wait until she was born to get that. Well, after doing so last night (along with his audio interview), I found out several things that I think are totally cool. Here they are:

1. He is a singer (tenor). He also plays the guitar, piano and trumpet

If you know anything about my family, you know that we (THEY) are musical. I missed that boat entirely, but pretty much everyone on my mom's side of the family is musical, even going back to my 2nd great grandfather, who recorded the first ever phonographic recording of Cotton-Eyed Joe (you can read that story here, on my aunt's blog.) So hopefully Audrey will take after her father and MY mother's family and not HER mother. Ha!

2. He is ambidextrous, as are his parents.

I find this fascinating (as I do with all people who are ambidextrous). I am one of two known people in my family who are left-handed, so I am excited to see what miss Audrey will end up being.

3. He is an only child. 

I am an only child and it's possible that Audrey will be an only child. Don't know why, but I find that cool.

4. He speaks, writes and reads three languages: English, French and Portuguese. 

I knew by his profile summary that he was half Portuguese (making my daughter 1/4 Portuguese) but I had no clue he was fluent in the language! His grandfather was French, and I'm assuming that's where the French portion comes into play. I speak no other language, but would love for my daughter to be able to speak another language. Maybe I'll invest in Rosetta-Stone and we can both learn! Hehe.

5. He is very involved with his community, including being a part of Big Brother/Big Sister.

In 2011, I joined the Big Brother/Big Sister program. I ended the match when I moved to where I am now, as the commute was crazy and I knew with the baby coming, I would not be able to invest the time that I should. However, it is still something I am passionate about and plan to be involved later on down the road. I also plan to get Audrey involved as well.

There were several other things I found to be interesting, but those were the ones that really stood out. I find it so cool how many similarities are between us (minus the language part, ha!). I am super excited to watch Audrey grow and see what traits and attributes she has/picks up.

Final note, I think she's going to be taller than I am. I'm 5'9. He's 6'2. My mother is 5'5. My father is 6'2. His mother is 5'8. His father is 6'2.  Sounds like WNBA player in the works to me!

My long-limb child! 

Mosaic Monday ~ Mommy's Back

Apparently last week was just NOT my week.  Two days after getting laid off, I developed strep throat and a double ear infection. Following doctors orders, I arranged for family and friends to keep Audrey for the next 36 hours while I stayed drugged and rested. While I will admit I enjoyed the rest, (I slept for 6 hours straight for the first time since Audrey's birth) I missed my baby girl greatly!! I finally got to pick her up on Saturday. During a visit to Nonni's, Audrey was clearly tired and seemed more than happy to pass out on mommy's shoulder. Mommy was more than happy too.

 

 

I'm linking to Mosaic Monday

 



Blessings In Disguise

Well, I returned to work only to be laid off. Changes are being made at the company and my position is relocating. Believe it or not I've felt it in my gut for a long time that this would happen. Not sure why, but I just knew it would. Oddly enough, for some reason I feel completely at peace about the situation. I am getting a decent severance so I don't have to scramble to find something in a week or so and I'm very grateful for that. And, this just means that I will get to spend more time with my precious Audrey.  I've already put my feelers out to my contacts and have at least two or three people to send my resume to. I'm also looking into work-from-home opportunities. All in all, I'm viewing this as a blessing in disguise. God will make a way. And until he does....I'm at stay-at-home mom!!

Operation Child Care = Completed!

If you read my previous post, you'll know I've been looking for personalized child care for Audrey since I was about 6 months pregnant, if not sooner. I've asked friends/relatives, looked at the online sites, posted on Facebook, etc. Originally I wanted a nanny in my home, but I quickly found that the going rates would not work with my budget availability. So, I started looking for an in-home daycare, but wanted it to be someone I knew or a referral. No luck. As the time crept closer and closer for me to go back to work, I knew I had to make SOME arrangements, even if they weren't long term ones.

While trolling Facebook one day, I noticed that my cousin-in-law (hehe) had posted an advertisement for a daycare run by their church. Though I've never wanted to put Audrey in daycare, if I HAD to, I preferred it be one that I knew could be trusted. After stopping by and meeting the staff, I decided to go ahead and enroll her there. It was going to be the best option even though it was going to be about a half hour trip each way from my house and back to work.

Saturday evening after returning home from the beach, I noticed my dogs eyes were practically swollen shut. An emergency trip to the vet revealed they were and also came with a very high price tag. That development along with a few other things have forced me to go back to work 2 weeks prior to my scheduled return. Although I had a place to take Audrey, I really didn't want her in a daycare setting until she was at least 8 weeks old (which will be next Tuesday). So, I decided to line up family and friends to keep her the remainder of this week (I am back at work today) and then take her to the daycare a week early. I lined up family for today and tomorrow but still needed someone for Thursday and Friday. So, I posted on Facebook that I was looking for a sitter and would pay.  A recently added friend of mine commented asking if I was looking for someone just up until Audrey was 8 weeks old. Long story short, after messaging I have found in-home care for Audrey!! And to sweeten the pot, it's only about 10 minutes from where I live!!!!! I could not be happier!! 

It's Just Pee.

Yes, those words have become part of my vocabulary. Never would I have thought I would live to see the day. But that's what an almost 7 week old baby that pees all the time and on everything will do to you. I have nicknamed Audrey the "pee queen." The child pees on EVERYTHING; herself, her bed, my bed, me, her changing table, her bouncer.....everything. She is worse than a boy, I do believe. I've tried to combat the problem with different diapers (brands and sizes)  to no avail. I finally have thrown in the towel and purchased stock in Tide. Okay, maybe I haven't taken it that far yet, but I should probably seriously consider it.  I have, however, become less bothered by the pee in general and just sort of,....go with the flow, shall we say??

After the first appearance by her highness, I freaked out. She was on her changing table and I simply went to change her diaper when all of a sudden she was covered in pee, from her bottom all the way to her hair. I don't exactly remember the steps to the pee dance we did, but everyone and everything ended up being washed. But those days have long passed us and now it's "grab a wipe and go." If the pee makes it to her hair now, she simply gets a cloth bathing - unless of course, she needs a full bath anyway, but that is a rarity.

Funny how the OCD in me is totally taking a backseat. Before I would have NEVER allowed anything to stay unwashed that had the smallest amount of pee on it. Now? I'm pretty sure there's a pee spot on my comforter as I type. And two formula stains on my sheets....welcome to motherhood.

My little pee queen. 

Posing Pretty

Audrey had her newborn pictures done last week by the wonderfully talented Megan Ella Photography.  As usual I am in LOVE with all of the pictures. Here are a few of my favorites (okay more than a few).

 

Mosaic Monday ~ Audrey's Expressions

If there is one thing that can brighten my day like none other, it is the precious facial expressions of my daughter. For today's showing I have captured 12 of them. Although some are similar, none are exactly alike and I love every single one of them. 

I'm linking to Mosaic Monday. 

Soy Formula and Mayonnaise

So apparently the sleep fighting was actually an intolerance to milk products. Luckily I had a can of soy formula on hand and all seems to be calming down. Audrey has slept more today than in a really long time, so that's a good sign.

My days are filled with scrapbooking, Internet surfing and laundry - well, that and taking care of an infant. Nothing too exciting going on. With the gas issues we've been having the car seat hasn't been a pleasant place, so we've not ventured out much. However, since things seem to bet getting better, I plan on doing a little bit more this week.  I've actually got a babysitter for tomorrow afternoon and I'm getting out and doing some "mommy" things, i.e. eyebrow wax, grocery shopping and a visit to the vet for the dog. Not sure what the rest of the week will hold, but we'll find something fun to get into!

Well, that's all for now. Except one last thing (just for fun). So, on my Facebook I've started documenting my "new mommy fails." These are things that I've done as an inexperienced new mommy that are embarrassing and/or have quite a humorous tint to them. So far they've included: dropping a pacifier into the toilet, going without deodorant and making "baby noises" at the dog. Today's fail however, took the cake and had me laughing so hard I was crying. I'll let you take a look at it and then I'll explain.

That is mayonnaise on my daughter's head.  Here's the story. My family eats pear halves with mayonnaise (don't knock it till you've tried it) and I just so happened to have some pears in the pantry and decided that today would be the perfect day to enjoy some. So, I got them out and put mayo on them, got my fork and was just about to dig in when I heard rumbling from Audrey's crib. So, being the attentive mommy that I am, I grabbed her pacifier and headed that way. Got to the crib and bent down to put the pacifier in her mouth (totally forgetting that I'm holding a plate)....PLOP...pears and mayonnaise fell into the crib and the above picture shows the results. I still can't think about it without laughing. Ha! She didn't find it quite so funny, but I told her that one day, she will. 

Hush Little Baby??? Not so much....

So today was my "initiation" day into the sorority of motherhood. Up until this point I've been pretty lucky in that the most difficult thing I've had to deal with was being pooped and peed on. But today I encountered (and am still encountering) the dreaded fighting of sleep. At least that's what I think it is. Whatever "it" is, it is the most frustrating, tiring thing EVER. Seriously. 

It all started yesterday evening. After two great nights of sleeping (in two 4 hour increments) and two good days, I felt fairly certain that we were developing a routine. Audrey seemed to sleep and eat around the same times for those two days and that was wonderful. However, upon arriving home last night that dream was shattered. She stayed awake the majority of the night and refused to sleep even when it was blatantly clear that she was exhausted. After such a night, I assumed today would be a "sleep" day for her. Wrongo. From about 11:30am until 5:00pm, Audrey slept maybe a total of an hour. That would have been no biggie, except the hours in between were filled with nothing but eating, dirty diapers and tears (tears from both mommy and baby).  This girl fights sleep like none other. And when I finally do get her to sleep, she sleeps for 20 minutes and then wakes up again and the entire process starts all over. I've tried everything; bouncing, singing, rocking, walking, and even vibrating. Nothing works. 

I know this too shall pass, but for tonight, I am one tired mommy that can now officially say, I'm earning the title. 

Good night, dear ones. I hope yours is better than mine! 

Tired mommy and baby....