Change Is A-Coming.

When I can sense big changes on the horizon in my life, my first instinct is to look back at things in my past; almost as though I'm asking my past for permission to move forward. I become reminiscent. I start looking through old pictures, old emails, etc. I have a good laugh or two and sometimes a good cry or two. And then I go through the phase that I despise. I call it the "holding" phase.

It's a phase where I'm not quite ready for the coming change, yet I know I can't go back. With one foot in my past and the other in my future, I find myself stuck; on "hold." It's usually a very long phase as well, which is one of the reasons that I despise it so. Some days I'll wake up thrilled about my future and what it holds. I'll be all smiles all day long; singing in the car, laughing with friends, loving life. And yet the very next day I could wake up terribly upset. I'll spend the day listening to old songs and thinking about old times with lost friends wishing that I could somehow find a time machine and go back to a place that is familiar. No matter how bad things might have been, at least they were familiar. I knew what was coming unlike the daunting future in which nothing is clear. And sadly, nothing helps. No one can help me make it better. No amount of prodding or pleading will change anything. I am the only one that can pull myself out of this phase and only when the time is right. 

I'm fairly certain the purpose of this phase is to teach me and to heal me. To teach me lessons from my past so that I don't make the same mistakes in the future and to heal me from any wounds that I might have acquired. 

So here I sit...on hold again.....at least I'm in charge of the music selection....

What You See.

We've all been there. That tinge of jealousy you feel when reading someone else's post on Facebook.

"Thanks to my amazing hubby for the early birthday present! I love you so much!"
"We're pregnant....AGAIN!"
"Vacation in the Bahamas!!"
"Just bought a new house!!!"


But what you see isn't always what you get. In fact, it's been my experience that most of the time what you see is NOT what you get. I've known firsthand for posts gushing with love for a spouse or a boyfriend to come from couples struggling to make it day to day in their relationships. Posts about excitement over pregnancies don't show the pain and suffering that came from the many injections needed for IVF. Or the grief that came with the pregnancy that ended too soon. Those posting vacation pictures don't tell you that the family argued the entire trip and their relationships will never be the same. And while John Doe my have a new house, John Doe also has debt that will hang over his head for 30 years forcing him to count pennies the entire time.

This is not meant to call anyone out or shame anyone. Certainly no one is of any obligation to post the intimate details of their lives online. And in fact, we all know someone who posts things that are TOO intimate. No, sir. I do not wish to see the pictures of your gallbladder surgery. No, ma'am. I don't need to know you and your mother had a huge fight and you're done talking to her.

My point is simply this: take Facebook and other social media sites with a grain of salt. And by all means, do NOT use them as a measuring stick for your own life. Just because someone achieved something prior to you and without your specific struggle, doesn't mean they didn't struggle. Nor does it make you a failure for not achieving it yet.

Your life is meant to be lived by you; including both struggles and successes. Keep your eyes on YOUR prize. Keep a grateful heart. And when someone posts a picture of their amazing new adventure, "Like" it, comment if you wish, and then get back to your own amazing adventure.